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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24725149">La petite mort</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/catteeth/pseuds/catteeth'>catteeth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Given (Anime), Given (Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, First Time, Jealousy, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:56:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24725149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/catteeth/pseuds/catteeth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It’s jealousy, he knows, and a petty kind at that, because it’s useless to be jealous over the dead.</p>
</blockquote>Ritsuka loses his virginity. The feeling of Yuuki in, on, and around Mafuyu is palpable.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>306</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>La petite mort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Split into contradictions, Ritsuka finds the inside of Mafuyu’s home just like Mafuyu himself: captivating and a little bit unreadable.</p><p>His body reacts in a perpetual loop of emotions. It’s the anxiety first, pooling hot into his stomach upon ringing the doorbell, and the lust second, exploding into a nervous energy as Mafuyu welcomes him inside. As Ritsuka crosses the threshold from entryway to bedroom half-hard, he remembers the time he saw Mafuyu’s face up close, hot and damp with the ends of a fever. He shivers. </p><p>Inside, he lets himself be pushed back onto the bed, Mafuyu on top. This isn’t the first time they’ve done this, now that they’re together, but it’s always a bit strange, a little hesitant and a lot slow. Mafuyu kisses him like it’s a warm-up, and Ritsuka knows it’s for his own sake because his nerves are shot to shit.</p><p>It’s not fair, he thinks, that he’s inexperienced in love and sex while Mafuyu seems a master of both. Mafuyu’s tongue pushes past his lips to the inside of his mouth, and he kisses back, meeting him half-heartedly. Mafuyu’s pleased hum vibrates through his body, and Ritsuka can’t help but think of something bad, of Mafuyu doing these same things with Yuki. </p><p>Mid-kiss, Mafuyu hesitates. His lashes flutter prettily as he looks down. </p><p>“Uenoyama-kun,” he whispers. “What are you thinking about?”</p><p>Today? Well, it’s made-up scenes with Mafuyu as the star, spread out and vulnerable beneath an ex-lover; Mafuyu, mouth open and mid-moan, beckoning Yuki a little bit closer; and then Mafuyu again, ass up, crying out <em> I love you </em>to a boy who isn’t Ritsuka.</p><p>“Nothing,” he lies.</p><p>Mafuyu’s lashes quiver again. Though he really is quite fragile in a feminine way, the way he moves is definitively and utterly <em> male. </em>His penis is stiff as it grinds hot and heavy against Ritsuka’s clothed leg.</p><p>“Liar,” Mafuyu says. He kisses Ritsuka all the way from mouth to neck. “Let me make you feel good. I’ll distract you.”</p><p>Ritsuka sucks in a breath. </p><p>Mafuyu’s bed is an enigma. In it lies something sinister, because for as much as Ritsuka wants to take him on it, an equal amount of him doesn’t. It’s jealousy, he knows, and a petty kind at that, because it’s useless to be jealous over the dead.</p><p>Instead, he yields like this. It’s a mental block, he knows. Passively, he lets himself be touched by Mafuyu, who plays with his body as if he’s tuning strings. He gasps when Mafuyu’s fingers creep under his shirt to circle a nipple.</p><p>“You’re really sensitive,” he says. </p><p>“Don’t make fun of me.”</p><p>The tips of his fingers are rough against his nipples with open, picked-at callouses. Ritsuka’s never thought to touch himself here before, the idea of his chest being an erogenous zone seeming exceptionally dirty, like something from a porno mag, but Mafuyu’s fingers feel amazing against his skin.</p><p>“I’m not.” Mafuyu smiles and caresses him again. “I like it.”</p><p>Naked, Mafuyu is unearthly beautiful, slender and pale. He shimmies out of his top and drops it on the floor before working on his pants. His ribs jut out from beneath his completely hairless chest and lead to the flat, sinewy stretch of his stomach. Below, his hips curve and point at his cock, which stands up straight and twitches as a bead of fluid leaks out from the tip. In a daze, Ritsuka lets Mafuyu undress him. He can’t shake the thought that someone else has seen this before.</p><p>He grabs Mafuyu’s hand before he can take off his boxers. “This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. With anyone.”</p><p>Mafuyu pulls them off anyway. “Hn.”</p><p>“What do you mean <em> hn... </em>!”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’ll show you how.”</p><p>Sex is a repetitious, rote act—the movement of limbs, hands, and hips learned from muscle memory. For that reason, Ritsuka knows it’s unavoidable that Mafuyu will fuck in the same way he did with Yuki. The manner in which he climbs on top of Ritsuka and pushes their bodies together, the way that he grips both of their cocks with his hand and then twists: an imitation of the past.</p><p>It already feels like too much despite this. Mafuyu’s chest is hot with a delicious flush that rises from his neck and spreads out across his face in a single bright plume. His breath comes in ragged pants, and his lips graze against Ritsuka’s shoulder, soft and wet, when he leans forward for leverage. It’s too hot, too soon, and he doesn’t want to come yet. He stills Mafuyu’s hands. </p><p>“Hm? Do you want to stop?”</p><p>If possible, Ritsuka is going to erase all of Yuki from Mafuyu’s body. </p><p>“No,” he says. His face burns. “I want to do… something else.”</p><p>Mafuyu understands. He eyes Ritsuka, cautious, before reaching towards the delicate hang of his balls. They’re tight with arousal, slightly lifted and full. He slips underneath and moves, and Ritsuka stares at the hypnotic up-and-down flex of his tiny wrist. It’s not until Mafuyu whimpers in time with each thrust that Ritsuka realizes what he’s seeing. Mafuyu is preparing himself for his cock.</p><p><em>Fuck.</em> “I—I can do that!”</p><p>Mafuyu shakes his head. “It’s okay. I did it before you came over, too.”</p><p>The thought of Mafuyu alone, fingering himself open in hopes of getting fucked, sends Ritsuka’s body into overdrive. If he doesn’t fuck Mafuyu now, he might just come anyway from the thought of it. He wonders how many times he’s done this to himself with Ritsuka unaware. Sitting across from him on the tatami, doing homework; holding hands and heading home from practice—was he lubed up and waiting? </p><p>Mafuyu removes his fingers and lifts up. “I’m going to put it in now.”</p><p>He guides the tip of Ritsuka’s cock to his ass and sinks down with ease. Inside Mafuyu is unbelievably warm, wet, and tight, and it’s too much for Ritsuka not to involuntarily thrust up into the heat that surrounds him. He grabs Mafuyu by the hips and thrusts, burying his cock in deeper. </p><p>It seems like a dream or a distant fantasy, doing this. He worries that Yuki is somehow watching them, jeering at his poor performance or lack of stamina, whispering into his ear that he was fucking this hole first. Hallucination or not, Ritsuka knows it to be true. He’s the only virgin here. </p><p>Mafuyu keeps a steady rhythm on top of him and matches the pace of his thrusts. His cock bounces as he rides and leaks droplets of pre-come along Ritsuka’s stomach, seemingly in his own mind, lost in the pleasure of it. Ritsuka watches in awe as Mafuyu’s mouth drops open, forming into a pretty little ‘o,’ breathing hard. Their eyes meet under the wispy fringe of his bangs.</p><p>“Stop,” Mafuyu rocks back so Ritsuka’s cock leaves him halfway, “thinking so much.” He slams back down, filled to the brim.</p><p>Okay, Ritsuka tells himself. He’ll stop thinking. He wills away Yuki’s hovering ghost and flips Mafuyu onto his stomach. He lifts up his ass and pushes down his shoulders, moving his back into the shape of a long, elegant curve beneath him, and thinks <em> mine, mine, mine. </em> The nape of Mafuyu’s neck glistens with a wetness that gathers and pools at the hairs there, turning them from red to brown with perspiration that sticks to his skin. The room reeks heavily of lube and sweat, but there’s also something lighter, like the clean, laundry-like scent of Mafuyu’s shampoo. </p><p>Ritsuka bends over across his back and breathes in. He loves Mafuyu. It’s everything about him that he loves, that drives him crazy: his smell, his voice, the gasps that fall out of his mouth as he gets fucked, the way his chapped hands grasp back at him as the tempo of their bodies change and quicken, desperate. He’s close.</p><p>“I’m gonna come too soon. It’s too much. The way you look, the way you sound—“</p><p>Mafuyu’s hole twitches around him. “Me too.”</p><p>“Just from this?” He reaches around for Mafuyu’s cock and wraps his hand around it. He wants to feel Mafuyu come.</p><p>“Ah—don’t touch it!” </p><p>Mafuyu pushes back against Ritsuka’s hips, losing the cadence of his thrusts entirely. It becomes sloppy, haphazard and fast, and Mafuyu twists his hands into the sheets and comes hard into Ristuka’s open hand. He collapses, his body loose and pliable, and Ritsuka pulls him back up by the hips to finish.</p><p>One final push, and Ritsuka swears he hears Yuki laughing. He comes unwillingly to the thought of it, nose buried into the back of Mafuyu’s neck with his eyes shut tight.</p>
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